Giant shark causes chaos in Belfast’s Titanic Quarter

The Word Warriors Daily News

Illustration by Clare Cavanagh

Giant shark causes chaos in Belfast’s Titanic Quarter

17th October 1996

Report by: Word Warriors Staff Reporters


Earlier this morning, a giant shark called Bruce was seen eating the Belfast Cranes as people screamed and ran away to board a ship going to Scotland. 

One terrified bystander, Mary Smith, said ‘It’s the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen in my life! It had at least 500 teeth!’

According to eye-witness reports, a brave 7 year old boy ran up to the shark and shouted ‘Go away, you’re scaring all the people of Belfast.’

The mayor of Belfast, Wayne McFarland, is quoted as saying ‘The shark seemed startled that somebody was standing up to him when he was almost the size of a double-decker bus!’. 

The boy’s name is Gus and Mayor McFarland is considering a punishment for Gus for standing up to the double-decker sized shark who then turned into a triple-decker sized shark. 

However, the shark chomped up Gus before he could receive his punishment. 

It seems that the shark reached its double then triple-decker size after nuclear waste was poured all over it. Gus had been regarded as the area’s only hope and so now the atmosphere is one of, largely, hopelessness with few locals remaining…